School Success Tips

1.  Establish and write out a daily schedule

I know that it is an inconvenience to write out your child's daily schedule but understand that kids do so much better when having a written schedule of what they need to do throughout the day.  A little inconvenience now will lead to less headaches and frustrations during the school year.  Here is a sample outline for you to use.

• Time to wake up
• Breakfast time
• What time they need to leave for school
• What time your child will get home from school
• Dinnertime
• Homework time
• Martial arts
• Bedtime
• Other activities such as, feeding the dog, practicing in instrument, other sports, etc.

As a parent I understand it is much easier to write the schedule yourself, show it to your child and they follow it. But it doesn't work this way. Unless your child has input (depending on their age and level of maturity) they will not “buy into” the schedule. When they are involved in the process they are more enthusiastic about sticking to the schedule.

2.  Establish a morning schedule
 

• Enlist your child's help and make a list of everything they need to do on school mornings. 
•  Get dressed 
•  Feed the cat or dog 
•  Make lunch 
•  Brush teeth 
•  Shower and clean 
•  Get backpack ready 
• Etc.

 3.  Attitude is everything

Understand that our children pay much more attention to our actions than they do our words. If you want your child to have a great attitude today remember you are the role model for them. Remind your child to go to school with a “Black Belt Attitude.” 

 4.  Establish great home work habits

Have a designated time in a quiet place for your child to do their home. No interference from the television or radio. Also, make sure their cell phones are not with them, they might say that it will not be a distraction for them, but we know better than that.  

 5.  Establish clear communications with your child's teacher

Your child's teacher cannot read your mind, so don't make them. A solid relationship comes from having solid communication.  Misunderstandings come from weak communication.  Being involved with your child means asking the teacher questions and sharing your concerns.

 6.  Be an active listener with your child after school

When you see your child after school that day, ask them how it was.  Then LISTEN, LISTEN, and LISTEN. Ask them about their favorite part of their day. Give them your full attention and praise them for their achievements that day. During this time make sure you are not watching the television, texting, or reading. This bonding time is way too valuable to waste.

 7.  Encourage positive relationships

Be aware of who your child becomes friends with. I wrote an article called “the cost of not knowing.”  Understand that your child becomes the sum of the 5 friends that he hangs out with the most. Knowing who their friends are will help you to guide them towards success.

 8.  Establish a bedtime routine

It’s important that your child gets enough rest, 9-10 hours per night is recommended.  The most common mistake made when parents try to get their children to bed is they start too late. The bedtime routine should start about 1 hour before the actual bedtime.  Getting their pajamas on, reading a book, doing a quiet activity, brushing teeth, or another low energy activity are things they need to do to make bedtime much less stressful.

Jeff Cvitak - owner, Martial Arts USA

The Real Way To Increase Your Child's Self-Esteem

Over the years I’ve learned that you can’t fix a child’s self-esteem.  It’s sounds off the wall because that’s what martial arts is supposed to do.  But as parents we want to ensure that our child has a high level of self-esteem and confidence to keep them safe from the world around them.  It’s difficult watching our kids give up or become frustrated when they can’t accomplish something, so naturally, we try everything we can to find ways to make them feel better.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way!  You making your child feel better will not increase their level of self-esteem, but helping them behave and react to situations better will!

We tell parents that we can and will improve their child’s self-esteem but it’s not done by improving their feelings, we do it by giving them challenges and helping them overcome them.  For example, when your child first learned to ride their bike you probably cheered for them and praised them for doing it.  But after they had been riding for a while it was no longer a big deal and they received no more praise for their effort.  So you have to engage your child in another challenge, another obstacle and let them overcome it, and then praise them for their success in that challenge.  Give your child a challenging situation that pertains to them now is the only way to really encourage your child's growth when it comes to their self-esteem.

We look around and see everyone handing out trophies just for showing up to an event because we don’t want our kids to feel the disappointment of not getting something for their efforts.  What would it feel like if you were applauded just for showing up to work?  Would it feel genuine?  Would you value that praise after a couple of days?  There comes a point in time where kids need to understand that if they don’t win or receive a medal that it’s OK.  Kids need to learn the value of losing gracefully and congratulating someone else for their victory. 

Your child will have feelings of frustration and it’s perfectly ok to help them express it, however, understand that this alone will not increase your child’s level of self-esteem.  Feeling good about themselves is a problem they have to solve, and that problem is solved by learning how to do things better for themselves.  They need to develop their own problem-solving skills, their own mastery of difficult tasks.  This is done, of course, while you’re encouraging them, not doing it for them.  Every time they fail it’s an opportunity for a greater success in the future. 

Making your child feel good for that moment only lasts for that moment.  But if you show them what to do to feel good about themselves, they develop those self-esteem building skills that last a lifetime.