What pictures do you see?

We all think in pictures.  Many times what we see in our mind translates to what we end up with in reality.  The great challenge lies in being ale to control what kind of pictures play in the theater of our mind!  This lesson is important and practical for both parents and children.

What kind of thoughts do you habitually think?  What kind of thoughts does your child habitually think?  Although we would like to believe our thoughts are of success, accomplishment, and a bright future, they may not always be. If we took an inventory of our thoughts we might discover that we dwell on past failures, present problems, and future anxiety too much. No matter how good you or your child’s current situation we can all benefit from tighter control of our own thoughts.

Why is this so important?  Because many of the psychological breakthroughs of the last century had to do with the fact that we “become what we think about most of the time.” Just that one sentence should awake you to how important this topic is to you and your child’s future success.  This is mainly due to the power of the subconscious mind which processes every thought and experience we have.  The subconscious actually doesn’t know the difference between a real event and one that is vividly imagined.  I encourage you to do your own research on the subconscious.

Catch yourself thinking thoughts of failure. Also teach your child about avoiding negative thoughts. Just being aware of this will have a huge impact on the family. 

Feel free to contact me with any questions.

Jeff Cvitak

Martial Arts USA

How to Beat Social Anxiety

Maybe it has happened to you before…. Your daughter is scheduled for her first dance lesson, karate class, or soccer game and you get her to the class or the field and she freezes!  She just doesn’t want to get into the class or step on to the field!  Your son’s first baseball game is Saturday and he’s been talking about it all week..

”I can’t wait to hit the ball, I can’t wait to run the bases, I can’t wait.”  Then when the time comes to get his baseball uniform on he refuses! Or how about when you feel as though a particular activity will be beneficial for your son or daughter and you say “hey would you like to give ___ a try?” and they say “No!” you then ask why and possibly unintentionally argue about how it’s no big deal to try things!

                                                                                                               

In my 17+ plus years as a martial arts school owner and instructor I’ve witness my fair share of children who seem to become uninterested at the moment of truth.  If this has happened to you don’t worry about and don’t be mad at your child.  All that happened was a slight case of social anxiety brought on by the thought of stepping out of their comfort zone. If you were able to get them there because they were excited and then they suddenly changed their minds all that happened was simple. Their mental picture did not match what they now say in reality.  And if you asked them about trying something and they said, “No!”  Then they simply already made a mental picture of themselves being uncomfortable.

We all have social anxiety.  It’s not easy to step out of our comfort zone.  Just imagine attending a party where you don’t know anyone?  Or, if you’re OK with that, how about speaking in public?  The key fact to remember is our kids are no different.  But the sooner you help them step out of their comfort zone the easier it will get each time.  If you give up the first time the harder it may get!

There’s a psychological principle called systematic desensitization. Which simply means; the more you make yourself do what you are sensitive or fearful of the less sensitive and fearful you will be.  So if you child experiences some social anxiety don’t let it bother you too much, just keep trying and don’t give up, social skills and the ability to control fear are essential in our world and the sooner your child begins develops these skills the better.

If you have more questions about social anxiety, don't hesitate to call.

Jeff Cvitak

Martial Arts USA

The 10,000 Hour Rule

Have you ever heard of an over-night success?  Professional athletes (e.g. Jeremy Lin), musicians (e.g. Beetles), captains of industries (e.g. Bill Gates and Warren Buffett), all seem to come out of nowhere and achieve huge success in their fields.  We all think, “If they achieved great success, how come I haven’t made it yet?”  It basically boils down to the 10,000 hour rule.

According to Malcolm Gladwell, the rule basically says that it takes approximately 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to master a skill. For example, it would take 10 years of practicing 2.74 hours a day to become a master in your subject. It would take approximately 5 years of full-time employment to become proficient in your field. Simply work out how many hours you have already achieved and calculate how far you need to go. You should be aiming for 10,000 hours.

Is your child filling the hours of their day meaningfully? That’s no problem for self-directed, endlessly curious learners. Chances are they’ll grow up to redefine success. Who knows what the kids of today will achieve?

The same 10,000 hour rule can be applied to bad habits.  Laziness, impatience, procrastination, gossiping, complaining, etc. are all habits that are learned over time.  And people have “mastered” these traits because of the 10,000 hour rule. 

As parents, we have a huge responsibility in making sure our children use the 10,000 hour rule wisely and not on “time-fillers” and “time-killers.”  If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask.

Jeff Cvitak

Martial Arts USA

Self-Esteem Killers

The simple fact is...there are things that parents sometimes do that lower their child’s self-esteem, although they are not aware of most of them. 

The following are self-esteem killers. If a parent intended (heaven forbid!) to lower a child’s self-esteem they would:

1. Compare one child with another, especially with siblings

2. Have super high standards; reward only high levels of progress

3. Yell at your kids -- a lot!

4. Give your child everything they want, need, and deserves all of the freedom they are asking for.

5. Let the child make lots of choices for themselves.

6. Neglect to follow through with consequences or bend your rules for them.

7. Hold your kids to standards that you don't hold for yourself.

8. Tell them not to set their goals to high in case they fail at them.

9. Spend time with your kids sparingly.

10. Assume they will follow your words, rather than your example (do as I say not as I do)

Of course, our job is to turn each of these awful statements into it’s opposite.  Building your child’s self-esteem requires consistent effort from yourself and everyone that is around your child.

If you have questions about self-esteem issues, give me a call, I’d be happy to help!

Jeff Cvitak

Martial Arts USA

Children's Attention Span

     Short attention spans don’t stand a chance in our classroom!

     I recently read that children’s attention spans don’t exceed 12 minutes - and I’m sure many parents will agree! However, while some might see this as a limitation, we see it as useful information in structuring our classroom.

     Psychologists have recommended that teachers break up their classes into smaller segments, because the study had revealed that children tend to “retain” more information at the beginning and at the end of a session.

     You have probably noticed that in our classes, the children never work on one any one skill for more than a few minutes. If you watch, you’ll see that the kids don’t even stay with the same teacher for more than about 7-8 minutes. At first glance it may appear to be chaos with the kids moving back and forth in the classroom, but believe me, we are very much in control.

     However, there is a purpose to this “craziness.” At the beginning of each class, the students line up, bow in, and do a quick warm up. As the children are stretching after their warm-up, the head instructor begins to divide the class up by age, rank or size.

     Each of the other instructors has a different part of the lesson plan - it might be forms, self-defense, kicks, corner blocks, or any number of drills - and each is given a small group of children to work with.

     After a few minutes, you’ll hear the me yell “One minute everyone!” This is the cue for each instructor to finish their drill and prepare to send their group to the next teacher.

     The kids are sent off to another part of the room, with a new teacher and a new drill, just as their attention span had reached its limit with the old drill. A short attention span isn’t given a fair chance when faced with the combination of this “switch” and the “SSL” rule.

     “SSL,” by the way, stands for “Smiling, Sweating, and Learning.” In other words, our students are learning an important skill at the same that they’re getting a good workout… and having a good time. And balance is the key to accomplishing our goal of improving our students’ lives.

     We get much better results when we have a good balance between teaching kids life skills, giving them a good workout, and making sure they have a great time when they come to class. If we only focused on one aspect of the class - “sweating,” for example - the kids wouldn’t want to come. If we didn’t teach the kids valuable life skills, parents wouldn’t be interested in bringing their children.

      After all… what keeps us interested in working with children is seeing the benefits of their training - improved self-esteem, confidence, respect, courage, integrity, and perseverance. And these are the things that keep parents interested.

Jeff Cvitak

Martial Arts USA